Sleeping alone
Not being able to sleep
Because I am alone
It’s sleeping next to strangers
Who will only ever be strangers
Because they’re lying in the mold
Your body once placed
On the left side of my bed
It’s numbing the pain
In any way I can find
It taste like
tear flavored wine
Ice cream in bed
Insatiable cravings
That leave me feeling
Empty
It’s lying to my family
It’s saying, “I’m okay”
It’s lying to myself
It’s wishing I could lie
to my friends
It’s remembering the smell of you
The look in your eyes
The way your lips curved
Into a smile
When they met mine
It’s forgetting the way your lips curved
Into a smile
When they met mine
And forgetting, again
to forget about you
It’s not being able to listen
To happy music
because it makes me sad
Or sad music
Because it makes me sadder
It’s the voicemail that I keep
To hear your voice
When I can’t bear the torture
Or fight the urge to call you
One last time
It’s living half alive
It’s living with sadness
Because I left my happiness
In the pockets of your sweater
It’s your sweater
I wear to bed
To make my heart feel warm again
It’s a hopeless feeling
That I’ve learned to live with
Without you